> 2018年
> 自由号登月计划
收到 注意无线电静电干扰 Roger that, be advice radio static comm.
收到 Roger that.
核酸蛋白质含量7-10 准备着陆 7-10 for vcx, landing gears on optical.
7 3 11 Seven, three, eleven.
情况很好 Looking good.
倒数12秒降落 Landing vector optimum touch down in t-minus 12
11 10 9 11, 10, 9 ...
8 7 6 8, 7, 6 ...
5 4 3 5, 4, 3 ...
2 1 2, 1.
傻愣什么 快放旗帜 And now, what's up? Drop the banners
一定要吗 Oh, for... Must we?
是的 我能[奥巴马的竞选词]
雄鹰号安全着陆 The Eagle has landed baby.
让那傻子离对讲机远点 Please keep that fool off the main frequency
桑德斯 你那边也能看到读数吗 Are you getting a reading on your end too, Sanders?
指挥中心 数据显示这里存在大量氦-3元素 Mission control, I can confirm vast quantities of Helium 3.
氦-3做能源不会产生辐射 但地球储量稀少月球多
这边读数更强 The readings are stronger this way
你信号不好 You're breaking up,
注意流星雨 pls be advice you may be nearing a meteor shower...
对讲机调至... Adjust to communicate....
难以置信啊 No fucking way.
桑德斯 你拿着那玩意儿 Hey Sanders, what do you do with that thing
在那边扑腾个啥 hopping around over there?
我以为你要给我拍照来着 I thought you suppose to take some photos of me?
华盛顿 你能看见... Washington, have you got a visual on ...
总部 你说什么 What was that, Houston?
-华盛顿 这里有氦-3 -什么 - Hey Washington, it's Helium 3. - What?
这里有个氦-3矿 过来 It's Helium 3 mine. Get over here!
此景只应天上有 人间能有几回闻 Hey there's something over here you need to see!
不 桑德斯 桑德斯 No, Sanders! Sanders!
老天啊 Oh god!
休斯顿 休斯顿 妈的 我得快离开这儿 Houston! Houston! Son-of-a-bitch, I need to get out of here.
钢铁苍穹
胜利万岁 月球青年指挥官雷纳特·里克特
希特勒万岁
同学们 请坐下
迪尔特 你怎么不坐下
自从月球元首65岁生日起
标准敬礼方式就变为
科茨弗莱施万岁
你真是个模范学生
今天 我们从一种最不爱国的语言开始学习
我们学习这语言
是为了回去拯救同胞时能用上
英语时间到 In English, now.
我们从哪里来 Where are we from?
-齐格弗里德 -从地球来 - Siegfried. - The earth
我们是什么时候动身的 And when did we leave?
-布伦希尔特 -1945年 - Brunhild. - 1945.
-我们来到了哪里 -月球背面 - And where did we go? - The dark side of the moon.
非常好 Brilliant.
全体立正 奏国歌
-希特勒万岁 -希特勒
-这是谁 阿德勒先生 -是从地球来的奸细
被我亲手抓住的
他好像是突击队的首领
阿德勒先生 你在和我开玩笑吗
天哪
华盛顿 白宫
别和我装傻 Don't try to play dumb with me.
都是你出的馊主意送那些白痴去月球 It was your bad idea to send those idiots to the moon.
-真心悲剧啊 -不是我反驳 不过总统大人 - Talk about disaster. - Not to be a contrarian madam president
我很肯定那是您的主意 but I'm pretty sure it was your idea.
要是成功了 功劳当然归我 It was my great idea if have they succeeded,
现在事情黄了 黑锅你背吧 now it's your stupid idea. Got it?
我雇佣你不是让你出馊主意的 I didn't hire you for your stupid ideas
是看中你谦逊的态度 I hire you because of your modest touch.
现在我的民意测验一落千丈 Now my proven rates are in the toilet
而选举却迫在眉睫了 and the election is just in weeks.
是你搞砸了 薇薇安 You dropped the ball, Vivian.
我现在急需奇迹发生 给我个奇迹 Now, I need a miracle. Get me a miracle.
到底为什么送那两个宇航员去月球 Actually how was sending those two astronauts to the moon
可以帮助我连任呢 supposed to getting me re-elected?
我们有50年没上月球了 We haven't been to the moon for fifty years.
而且其中一人是个黑人 One of them was black.
-我觉得是个不错的姿态 -怎么说 - Thought it would look good. - Look good how?
正如我所言 其中一个是黑人 Like I said, one of them was black.
你想想 Just think of
我们当年浪费的机会 那个小跟班叫啥 the opportunity we wasted years ago with that errand boy,
是叫艾伦·鲍威尔吗[英国鼓手] Alan Powell?
-是叫科林·鲍威尔 -差不多 - Colin Powell. - That was close.
美国前国务卿 第一个黑人国务卿
-你上哪儿去 -去联合国 我忙着呢 - And where are you going? - The UN, to do my job.
查理·卓别林的《大独裁者》 The Great Dictator by Charlie Chaplin.
是举世闻名的短片之一 It is one of the worlds most famous short films.
影片在短短的10分钟内向我们描述了他的愿望 Which illustrates in just ten minutes his wish:
终有一天 整个世界 That one day, the entire world
将在元首他那双智慧而温柔的手的掌控之下 will be held in the great fuhrer wise and gentle hands.
-有问题吗 -我有个问题 - Any questions? - I have a question.
亲爱的
阿德勒先生
在我的课堂里 In my classroom we are here
一言一行必须遵守纪律 to strictly form a manner in addressing one another
什么事劳您大驾 To what do we owe the honor of this visit?
新闻通讯指挥官阿德勒先生
-我们抓住了一个地球人 -到你发挥特长的时候了 - We capture an earthling. - Your expertise is required.
-午饭吃什么 -德国泡菜
又吃这个 不是真的吧
元首一周也吃三次泡菜吗
我爱吃泡菜 I love sauerkraut.
爱大众车 开起来真拉轰 And Volkswagen. Faberduch.
德国话 对不 German words, right?
我们那儿也说德国话 你们知道吗 Where I come from we speak German too, you know what I'm saying?
妈的 你这么做会后悔的 小白脸 Damn! You'll be sorry you did that, white boy.
抓住他 抓住他
别开枪
逃犯是个黑人男性
并未武装 但是脾气暴躁
他长什么样子
他从哪里来 穿什么衣服
我的衣着还行吗
用英语来说
你的美令我晕倒 You are a knock-out.
怎么能从这儿出去 How do I get out of here?
注意高真空
谢谢女士 祝你愉快 Thanks lady. Have a nice day.
不 土人先生 那是个气闸 No, Mr. Subhuman. That is the air lock.
不 No!
你要不要遮一下 You may wanna - uh, cover up a bit.
好了吗 All good?
克劳斯 别开枪 我们要留他做实验
别别别 别杀我 No, no, no! I wouldn't do that if I was you!
听我说 我认识些很重磅的人 Listen to me! I know a lot of important people.
美国总统我也认识 And I konw the President of United States of America.
你要是杀了我 情况就糟糕了 If you kill me, then it's really fucked-up situation.
你认识美国总统吗 You know the president of United States of the Americas?
-把他送去里克特博士的实验室 -遵命
谢谢老兄 回头见 Thanks homie, I talk to you later babe.
这是什么装置 Question, what is this apparatus?
我怎么知道 我只是个模特 Look man, how would I know? I'm just model.
-一个模范什么 模范公民吗 -不是 就是模特 -A model what? Citizen? -No man, a model model
你们俩这是怎么了 瞎了还是什么的 Damn, what's wrong with you two? You're blind or something?
爷美呆了 Shit, I'm pretty.
你是为了入侵而来的先头部队吗 Are you part of the short trip before the invasion?
入侵 老兄你秀逗了吧 Invasion? Man, you all must be tripping.
你的任务是什么 What is your mission?
听着 我就是个打工的 你懂吗 Look dude, I just follow the paycheck, you know what I'm saying?
-这是什么 -那是我的终极无敌移动电话 - What is this device? - That's my kick-ass cellphone
-也是个电脑 -什么 - and a computer. - What?
这不是电脑 That's not a computer.
这才是电脑 This is a computer.
不 你那是老古董了 No, that's ancient history homie.
傻子黑鬼
他说话乱七八糟 估计是土语
-可能是因为肤色关系 -对的
他的大脑结构与我们雅利安人不一样
我们给他开颅 量下他的大脑
不行 我得问出他此行的目的
博士 给你24小时
否则我就要用那个可靠的老办法了
上刑
纽约 联合国同盟
我再次重申 I am telling you once again..
我们前一秒刚得到 One moment we receive conformation
飞船安全降落的消息 that the ship has landed successfully on the moon
下一秒通讯就全部中断了 Then next, all communication stopped.
信号消失 The signal simply vanished.
你们是不是有所隐瞒 Or you're hiding something from us?
是啊 我们在月球背面藏了好东西 Yeah, we are hiding something on the dark side of the moon.
我还是不相信 I still find it very difficult to believe that
整个计划 entire purpose of the mission
就是要帮助你们总统连任 was to promote your presidents re-election.
不管你们信不信 我们有的议员 Well believe what you like, we had the senators spend
为了一官半职 hundreds of millions on campaigns
真是一掷千金啊 to get them elected to dog-shit-posts.
但是秘书长先生 这次行动的所花的钱 But Mr Secretary, the expenses involve this time only makes
要有军事目的才说得通 sense only if there was a military purpose.
我要申明 Okay, let's get this clear.
美国登月没有军事目的 The United States has no military activity on the moon.
那么能源探索呢 What about natural resources activity?
大家都知道 你们美国人有时候会把两者搞混的 We know how the US sometimes mixes them two up.
你们不会是在那边找氦-3吧 Is there any chance that you are looking for Helium 3 up there?
氦-3 有这种东西吗 你乱编的吧 Helium 3? You just made that up, didn't you?
无稽之谈 That's so silly.
纽约 总统竞选总部
黑人登月
这些还是初步设想吧 I assume these are just preliminary ideas?
先生 这次的时间很赶 Sir, we have a very small delivery window.
-叫我先生 -是的 先生 - Sir? - Yes, sir.
是夫人 这就是我们的成品 Ma'am, and this is all.
部门主任留下 其他的人出去 Anyone who is not head of the department, should leave.
你们这帮子白痴 You idiots.
蠢驴 叫你们蠢驴还真侮辱驴了 You morons! That's an insult to morons.
这算什么 What is this shit?
我是要和 I have a meeting
美国总统开会 with the President of the United fucking States of America.
就明天一早 Tomorrow fucking morning.
不是和什么赞比亚总统会谈 Not the President of fucking Zambia!
不是和什么清洁工工会主席 Not the President of the fucking Janitor's Union!
是和你们生活着的 But with the president of the fucking country
这个国家的总统会谈 in which we happen to all live above the third world!
一群废物 You pieces of hilacious shits!
我该怎么和她说 What am I suppose to tell her?
说我的雇员智商太低 That my employees are not intelligent enough
白痴不如 to be fucking morons?
-阿德勒先生 -请叫我克劳斯 我能进来吗
当然
我这趟来是和你讨论我们的终身大事
-你这是在求婚吗 -没必要结婚
我从种族纯度部门拿来了鉴定书
-我们的基因相符程度高达97% -好浪漫
是科学敦促我们相结合
为人类生产完美的后代是我们的宿命
我的那个科学研究呢
总有一天 亲爱的
这一切都会是我们的
但首先 我必须征服地球
沃尔夫冈那老家伙挡我的路
阻止我获得胜利
我们两个担负着重大的责任
你要全力支持我
"诸神的黄昏"飞船基地
先生们 "诸神的黄昏"飞船
这是我们潜心研究40年的传奇兵器
是我们敬爱的元首的梦想
可惜的是 至今为止还未能实现
-博士 可以了 -看着吧
这个小装置
它的计算能力是我们所有计算机总和的一千多倍
我制作了这条电缆
连接这个装置和我们的主电脑
我称之为通用系统绑定 简称USB
这会使之升空
最后飞船就能起飞
-开始吧 -好的
你们都亲眼目睹了
我的元首 就让我回地球吧
我再去多拿些这种装置回来
没人去了还能回来
我会回来的
我们别无选择
如果我们想要抵抗来自地球的侵略
你们是否愿意为元首效力 Are you willing to work with the fuhrer ...
以祖国的名义 in the name of the fatherland,
成为国防军的坚强后盾 stand behind the Wehrmacht.
这项决定不会使我们分化... This decision does not resolve all of us ...
谢谢 我估计耳朵都快出血了 Thank you. I thought my ears were gonna bleed.
不客气 You're welcome.
能告诉我你的名字吗 May I ask what you name is?
华盛顿 詹姆斯·华盛顿 Washington, James Washington.
-你叫什么 -雷纳特·里克特 - What's yours? - Renate Richter.
见到你很高兴 华盛顿 It is a pleasure to meet you, Washington.
詹姆斯·华盛顿 James Washington.
你的皮肤怎么了 What's wrong with your skin?
得了吧 Come on now please,
你之前就没见到过黑人兄弟吗 you have never met a brother before, right?
没有 我是独生女 No, I'm the only child.
不是的 我不是那个意思[黑人喜欢称呼彼此兄弟] No, I didn't mean like that
我是说黑人 I meant a black man.
没有 所以我感到很迷惑 No, and this continues to confuse me.
因为你比我第一次遇见你时又黑了不少 Because you are much blacker than when I first confronted you.
好吧姑娘 要么是我黑要么就是你瞎眼了 Okay girl, look either I'm black or you're blind.
他们会对我怎么样 Look, what is going to happen to me?
那人为什么老拿针头扎我 I mean, what with this guy keeping sticking needles at me?
还有旁边那个愤青 What about that other angry dude?
我父亲用针扎你 My father sticking needles into you?
那个疯狂博士 是你父亲 That freaking scientist guy? That's your dad?
那么这个人呢 And what about you know....
Mr. Nachrichtenübermittlungs-Oberführer Adler? 新闻通讯指挥官阿德勒先生?
-你说什么 -克劳斯·阿德勒 - I'm sorry, what? - Klaus Adler.
他将是下一任元首 He's going to be the next fuhrer.
还会成为我的丈夫 And my husband.
什么 你是打赌输了还是怎么 我是说... What? You lose a bet or something? I mean....
你前世修来的福啊 Lucky you.
事实上 他福气真好 Actually, lucky him.
我不该来这里 I shouldn't even be here.
你不能放着我不管 You cannot leave me tied up like this.
-请你帮个忙 -什么 - Please do me a favor. - What?
-假装成纳粹 -如果我不呢 - Play a Nazi. - And what if I don't?
-他们会杀了你的 -好极了 - They will eliminate you. - Oh, great.
能换个电台吗 Is there a different radio station?
随着战争的到来 With the upcoming war ...
他回来了 He's back.
看来效果不错
用这个应该就行了
我这就来
看来很好
白化剂
现在只需要...
-为什么不让我和你一起去 -别担心 亲爱
我一完成任务 就回到你身边
我不是这个意思 我是说我是个地球通
我对地球了如指掌 你需要我
我的小宝贝 你哪来的这么多奇思怪想
大多数都是书里看来的
还有从电影看来的
我会凯旋而归的
-希特勒元首万岁 -是科茨弗莱施元首万岁
-记住了吗 -是的 元首
我们还有一张王牌
让他看看我们的秘密武器
诸位请看
-博士 -仔细看
元首万岁
快站起来 你这蠢货
胜利万岁
现在这囚犯是我们一员了 我们去地球 With the prisoner now is one of us we go down to the earth.
他会帮助我们找到更多的手机式电脑 He will help us to find more telephone computers.
回来让"诸神的黄昏"腾空而起 And then return and get the Gotterdammerung flying.
阿德勒元首 我希望你
已经就我返回地球一事讨论过了
一切都在计划之中
纳粹德国信任你
谢谢你 博士
-替我照顾好你女儿 -好
胜利万岁
瓦尔哈拉殿堂见
北欧神话中死亡之神奥丁款待阵亡将士英灵的殿堂
纽约北部
-你闻到了吗 -我们得抓紧时间 - You smell that? - No. We don’t have time to waste.
带我去见你们总统 Take me to that president of yours.
什么总统? What? The President?
伙计 我以为你要去苹果专卖店 Come on man, I thought you want me to take you to Mac store or something.
你说过你知道美国总统在哪 You said that you would know the President of The United States of the Americas.
是 我知道 Right, of course.
美国总统在哪 That President.
那我能也见见总统吗 May I meet this President too?
雷纳特 你在这干嘛
里克特小姐 欢迎来到地球 Hey, Miss. Richter, welcome to my planet.
这不是未来元首之妻应该来的地方
更不是女人应该来的地方
但是我的男人在这儿
-从我的田里滚开 -我们得走了 - Get the hell out of my property. - We got to get out of here! Run for it!
-快跑 -Run for it!
纽约
大众牌的巴士
别急 老板 Hold on there Boss man.
这不是明智之举 我跟你说过什么 That may not be the sharpest move. Look, I'll tell you what?
让我跟他们谈谈 我也是黑人 他们的一员 Let me go talk to those guys. They know me, I'm one of them.
同意吗 Are you with me?
你同意了 Now you're talking.
就现在 Now.
-他知道自己不是黑人了吗 -不 他会吓一跳的
很高兴见到你们 I am happy to see you all man.
我们见过的 You all know me.
-华盛顿 -我是说 - Washington. - I mean...
那不是你的车吧 因为我... That ain't one of yours, is it? Because I...
不用掏那玩意儿出来吧 You don't have to freakin' take that shit out.
我是你们的好兄弟 I'm a peace loving brother.
-你还好吧 -好个屁啊 疯狂的纳粹分子 - Are you alright? - Do I fucking look alright to you, miss crazy fucking nazi?
到底是怎么回事 What the hell just happen?
不 他妈的 No, mother-f way.
你们对我做了什么 What did you mixed-up-tomatoes do to me?
-我应该早点告诉你的 -我是不是看起来像他妈的北极熊 - I should've told you - What? That I look like a fucking polar bear?
你们两个真他妈会办事啊 You two really know, how to fuck up a guys business.
闭嘴 蠢货 你他妈是怎么了 Quiet, you fool! What is wrong with you!
我们把你变成了雅利安人 你现在是我们的一员 We made you Aryan, you are one of us now.
-你应该感谢我们 -感谢你 - You should be thanking us - Thanking you?
我应该让那帮兄弟用他们的大脚 What I should have done is let those brothers come here with a size 15
插你的屁眼 让你两周都闻脚丫子味 put those foot so far up your ass that you can taste the toe nail for 2 weeks.
克劳斯 Klaus.
带我去找你的头儿 詹姆斯·华盛顿 Bring me to your leader, James Washington.
你要干什么 放开 Hey, what the fuck? Excuse me.
把你脏手拿开 你这混蛋 Get your fucking hands off me, you mother...
-你可以利用她找到总统是吧 -对 她是个大人物 - You can use her to you boss? - Yes, she's the cheese.
-她知道总统在哪 -对 她们关系亲密 - And she knows the president? - Yes, they are really tight.
操 Come on.
你这混蛋 你知道我是谁吗 You fucking bastards! Do you know who I am? huh?
你们绑架错了人 他妈的绑架错了人 You just kidnapped the wrong woman, the wrong fucking woman.
等着吧 有你们好受的 I hope your having a good time. I'm gonna kick your fucking ass.
很好 Excellent.
该我了 My turn.
第四帝国即新纳粹分子幻想中复兴第三帝国 （纳粹德国）的未来国家
我是第四帝国指挥官克劳斯·阿德勒 I am Commander Klaus Adler of the 4th Reich.
我们的基地在月球上 We are based on the moon.
有人告诉我说 你跟美国总统很熟 I'm told you know the president of the United States of the Americas.
你要带我们去见总统 因为... You will take us to that the President, because...
-我有个特别的礼物给他 -给他? - I have a very special present for him. - For him?
他会喜欢的 他喜欢礼物 Well he'll loved that. He just loves presents.
一旦我的任务完成 As soon as my mission is accomplished.
纳粹军队就由我指挥 Nazi invasion force will be called in under my direction.
我们就能终结那些坏蛋的好日子 and we will end the good times for the bad people.
你要怎么做呢 And just how do you propose to do that?
-斩尽杀绝 -什么 - We will simply eliminate them. - What?
-不好意思 不是这么说的吧 -雷纳特 我不认为你 - Sorry, that is not what we are told. - Renate, I do not think that you...
好吧 为什么不呢 Yeah. Why not?
为什么你不告诉这女人我们为什么来这 Why don't you tell this fraulein why we are here,
就像你教育那些孩子 just like you keep telling your children.
乐意这么做 I would love to do that.
民族社会主义德国工人党是人民的政党 The National Socialist Party is the people's party, nothing more...
我们带着和平团结 爱与美德的意愿 We wish to return to earth with our message of peace and unity.
回到地球 love through virtue.
还有善意 and kindness, for example.
我们身心健康 We are healthy, in mind and body.
灵魂勇敢而真诚 Our spirits are brave and true.
能达到这种境界是因为我们强有力的纪律 We achieved that because we are strong and disciplined in our cause.
没有人像我们这样忠诚可靠 There is simply no believes that an match ours...
和平与团结是我们带给人类的礼物 because peace and unity is the gift we bring to all mankind.
-你们地球生物所需要懂的 -我知道了 - What you and all earthlings need to know... - Yeah, I get it.
很好 This is good.
会起作用的 This is gonna work.
我需要你 You, I need.
而你 And you...
我想要 I want.
我们去见总统 Alright, let's go meet the president.
总统女士 Madam President...
这就是你要的奇迹 here's the miracle you asked for.
-他是谁 -他来带领竞选团队 - Who is this man? - He will lead the campaign troops.
雷纳特 请开始 Renate, please...
很简单 It's very simple.
这个世界病了 The world is sick.
而我们是医生 and we are the doctors.
世界缺乏营养 而我们是维他命 The world has anemia and we are the vitamin.
世界是虚弱的 而我们带来力量 The world is weary, but we are the strength.
我们为让世界变得健康而来 We are here to make the world healthy once again.
努力工作 With hard work...
诚实 正派 体面 with honesty, with clarity, with decency.
我们是爱和勇敢的产物 We are the product of loving mothers and brave fathers.
我们是爱和勇敢的化身 We are the embodiment of love and bravery.
我们是上帝与科学的产物 We are the gift of both God and science.
我们就是解密人 We are the answer to the question.
我们是全人类的福祉所在 We are the promise delivered to all mankind.
举起手来 为国家效忠 For that we raise our hand, to one nation.
我们踩着时代的鼓点 We step to the beat of one drum
前进 of this world.
我们为后辈开创基业 We are the people who will carry the children on our shoulders.
正如我们的父母一样 In the same way as our fathers carried us and their fathers carried them.
我们是团结有力的民族 We are the one people united and strong.
我们是值得信任的民族 We are the one people with certainty, moral certainty.
我们无所畏惧 所向披靡 We are invincible and we have no fear.
真理让我们团结一心 Because the truth makes us one.
三个月后
月球上纳粹要反攻 你们这些人都看不见吗 The moon Nazis are coming. What's wrong with you people, can't you see?
告诉你 我亲眼见过 Look, I've been there. I'm telling you.
整个月球上都是他们基地 他们就要反攻地球了 They have all this whole moon base space thing, and they come to take over.
你们要相信 纳粹真的要来了 You must listen because the Nazis are coming.
他们要来把我们都消灭 为什么你们不听呢 They coming to get us all. Why aren't you guys listening to me? I mean...
雷纳特 Renata.
华盛顿 詹姆斯·华盛顿 Washington. James Washington.
很高兴看到你还活着 I'm so glad to see you alive.
大伙看看 就是这婊子让我变成白人的 Look out young one, this is the bitch that made me white.
来人啊 帮帮忙 Come on people, help me.
救命 Help me.
我曾经救了你一命 I saved your life.
你就是那个已经死了的黑人 So, you're a formerly dead, black model...
在月球上过了个周末后 who is now suddenly a living white hobo.
现在又复活变成了白人流浪汉 对吗 after spending the weekend on the moon. Is that correct?
-对 -所以我在听 - Yes, that's correct. - So I was listening.
尼尔·阿姆斯特朗是第一个离开地球踏上月球的人
你就是做了变性手术的尼尔·阿姆斯特朗 是吗 And you are Neil Armstrong after his sex change operation. Is that correct?
不 不会 你一点也没注意听 No, that is not correct. You were not listening at all.
我是里克特 雷纳特·里克特 My name is Richter. Renate Richter.
我设法救他 现在发现他愚蠢孩子气不知感恩 I tried to save this mans life and I think he's stupid, childish and ungrateful.
问这月球女纳粹 我是不是去过月球背面 Ask Mrs. Moon-Nazi here, was I, or was I not on the dark side of the moon.
是的 詹姆斯·华盛顿去过月球背面 Yes, Mr. James Washington was on the dark side of the moon.
是吧 我早说过 There, what did I tell you.
我是个黑人现在变成白人 I am black, but now I'm white.
去过月球背面现在又回来 I went to the dark side of the moon, but I'm now back.
纳粹要把我们都杀光 And the Nazis are coming to kill us all.
你们会后悔 没仔细听我说话的 And you are going to be so sorry that you didn't listen to me.
詹姆斯·华盛顿先生 你为什么愤怒沮丧 Mr. James Washington, Why are you so upset? So angry?
-赶紧给我消失 -我不明白 - Get lost. - But I don't understand.
我们把你变成了白人 We made you white.
我们跟你说过 纳粹党人带着和平团结的意愿 We talked to you about National Socialist message about peace and unity.
你们这些人夺走了我一切 You people have robbed me of everything.
我的肤色 身份 事业 My race, my identity, my career.
我都被气糊涂了 我是说你们夺走了一切 And I'm beginning to think I am flipping mind too. I mean just everything.
你知道这个电影吗 Do you know this?
知道 Yes.
很好
来吧 come on
查理·卓别林《大独裁者》
进去看看 我跟你解释完了 你就会明白 Come on in. I will explain it to you. Then you'll understand it.
我得说 你真是个奇怪的妞 You're a one strange broad, I'll give you that.
你得给我买份爆米花 You know you'll pay the popcorn.
125分钟后
真垃圾 Man, what a bullshit.
原来这部电影这么长 It was, it was so long.
你肯定看的是删减版 They could've edited down a bit.
他在嘲弄元首 He was mocking the fuhrer.
我现在觉得 你还不了解纳粹 I begin to sense there's a lot about nazis you don't know.
-但是我就是纳粹 -对 但是你不像 - But I am a Nazi - Yeah, I know but you are not like,
不像那帮傻逼 well like them. A bunch of stupid bullies.
不 他们都是好孩子 No, I'm sure they're good boys.
忠于德意志 and loyal to the Reich.
他们都戴着代表爱的肩章 look, they are wearing the symbol of love.
-纳粹十字章? -对 - The swastika? - Yes.
从没听说过那是爱的标志 I have never heard they call it that before.
别 别过去 No.
晚上好 孩子们
看这谁来了 金发蓝眼 正妹啊 What we got here, blond hair, blue eyes, nice rack.
希特勒见了 也会勃起的 Even Hitler would get a hard-on.
-哥们 我们不是来找麻烦的 -滚一边去 臭要饭的 - Look guys, we don't want any trouble. - Get lost hobo.
-说来话长 -够了 停下 - I gotta plenty stories to tell. - Stop that, that is enough.
她需要打一场硬仗 What she needs is a good war.
这样能让她更受欢迎 A war always make the president popular.
我或许可以帮上忙 I might be able to help her out there.
什么意思 How do you mean?
只要我一句话 进攻就会开始 One word from me, and the invasion will begin soon.
-你从不屈服改变是吧 -对 - You never break character do you? - No.
我从不屈服 I can never be broken.
-你闻起来味道很好 -时机已经来临 - You smell so good. - The time has come.
我会告诉你我的计划 I'll show you my plans.
回来嘛 Come back here.
我有东西要给你看 Look, I have some things.
大家伙 Oh big fella.
坐怀不乱吗 All work and no play?
你认为如果我让总统消失 Now listen, don't you think if I asphyxiate the president...
军队会不会归顺我们 Will the troops then allign with us?
然后我就命令进攻月球 When I will order the moon invasion.
来场大屠杀 It will be quietless bloodshed.
消灭月球的元首 And I will eliminate the moon fuhrer.
希特勒万岁
我不叫希特勒
克劳斯 这些小丑也要来加入我们吗 So Klaus, is the clown joining us?
什么 你们买票了吗 What, did you all buy tickets?
不向我介绍你们的朋友吗 Well ok, do you want to introduce me to your friends?
纳粹猪 把你的脏手拿开 Get your hooks off me you crystal-knocked piece of shit!
放了我吧 我让你爽爽 I make it worthwhile for you. Just please let me go.
动手吧 月球战士
就凭你 还想消灭月球元首
你知道叛国的后果吗
齐格弗里德战舰报告
我们已经到达预定轨道 瓦尔基里计划准备完毕
海因里希战舰准备完毕
比特里弗战舰准备完毕
-舰队已经集结完毕 -很好
告诉他们等待我回归
然后我们就开始迅速反攻
我们会清除所有地球上的
劣等民族
克劳斯 Klaus.
我来告诉你 我和你还有你的狗屁计划再无瓜葛 I am here to tell you that I have nothing to do with you or your plan.
你这纳粹的渣滓 You Nazi-piece-of-shit.
很好
因祸得福
我现在一击就能消灭所有帝国的敌人
再见了 傀儡
一个吹箫 就把他搞定了 He fell for the old one last blow job offer.
傻逼纳粹 God, nazis are stupid.
枪法很棒 My compliments on your marksmanship.
可惜 这么棒的妞让她跑了 晚些时候再干掉她 Shame. She was such a nice girl Just have to pick her up later.
这都是真的了 So, it was real all this time?
别怀疑纳粹 美人 Never doubt a Nazi, schone fraulein.
再见 美人 Goodbye, fashionista.
我还有个星球要征服 I have a planet to conquer.
我只是回来拿这个 I will just grab this.
再见 Bye.
祝你下半生好运 Good luck with the rest of your life.
不可思议 Unbe-fucking-lievable.
他们像正常女人一样发育 但是看这
没有毛发 这里也没有 像个小女孩
如果她们长毛发 看起来就像...
我们伟大元首的胡子
这些图片都让我硬了
胜利万岁
阿德勒先生
元首在哪里
元首死了 新元首万岁
那就是我
胜利万岁
请这边走
克劳斯
希特勒万岁
当然从现在开始 要改成 阿德勒万岁
岁月不饶人啊
瓦尔哈拉殿堂见
5点45分开始反攻
小宇宙爆发吧
流星闪击战打响
谢谢 凯利 不久之前纽约遭到袭击 Thank you, Kelly.Moments ago New York has come under attack.
目击者表示看到数百架不明飞行物 Witness claiming seeing hundreds of UFO's
突然出现并展开交火 appearing suddenly over the city and opening fire.
比利 上面 拍到了吗 Billy get that. Are you getting that?
凯利 太空船的直径至少60英尺 Kelly, the craft is at least 60 feet across
我看到有个武器一样的东西从底部探出 I'm seeing what appears to be a weapon of some-kind dangling around.
天哪 开火了 我得找地方躲一躲 Oh my god it's opening fire. I'm going to hide.
没有其他信息 There is little or no information.
-其实是这样 克劳斯...-我知道这是你的功劳 - Ok you see the thing is, Klaus... - I know this was your doing.
-太棒了 -啥 - It's wonderful. - It's wonderful?
很聪明 现在我是战时总统了 It's brilliant. I'm a wartime president now.
所有在第一任期内发动战争的总统 All presidents that start a war in their first term
都会取得连任 我本来得炸了澳大利亚什么的 always get re-elected, I thought, I had to bomb Australia or something.
现在不用了 你给我制造出... No, you bring me real...
-不过那些是什么人 -纳粹 - Who are these guys anyway? - Nazis.
-来自月球 -活生生的纳粹啊 - from the moon. - Real life Nazis?
天哪 越来越棒了 Holy shit, this just keeps getting better and better!
你真是奇迹制造者 You are a miracle working dame.
他们是我们唯一光明正大打败过的人啊 They are the only guys we ever actually managed to beat in a fair fight?
我就像富兰克林罗斯福 除了小儿麻痹症 I'm just like Franklin D. Roosevelt. Only, I'm not spastic.
我就知道你会很兴奋 I knew you would be excited.
如果你是罗斯福 谁是你的巴顿将军或者麦克阿瑟 So, if you’re Roosevelt, then who is your General Patton or MacArthur.
亲爱的国防部长 你有什么建议吗 Mr Secretary of Defense. Do you have any thoughts on this?
她就不错 Send in her.
-我吗 -你是奇迹制造者啊 - Me? - Hey, you're the miracle worker.
显然也能躲过子弹 Apparently you dodge bullets too.
-我不知道...-穿什么吗 那样穿就不错 - I wouldn't know... - What to wear? You think of something. You always do.
总统大人 Madam President ...
准备好应战了吗 Ready to face the music?
是太空纳粹 It's space Nazis!
去北部 我们要回月球 Take us upstate. We need to go back to the moon.
不不 我们也包括我吗 我不回去 We?No, no, no. See we rhymes with me. I'm ain't going.
他们在月球上有"诸神的黄昏" They got a Gotterdammerung all around the moon.
我他妈才不管他们有什么 I don't give a damn what they have.
我才不回去,打死也不！ I'm not going back.No way！
你下半辈子就这个样子了吗 You want to look like that for the rest of your life?
说得好像是我的错一样 Great, now this is my fault.
-开个门 -我不是英雄 詹姆斯 - Let me in. - I am no hero, James.
我需要你 I need you.
你知道怎么开这家伙吗 Do you know how to drive this thing?
和玩"银河飞将"差不多吧[一款游戏] Well can't be any different than playing 'wing commander'.
试试这个... Let's try..
我发誓我们没在月球上放任何东西 I swear we do not have nothing on the moon.
-日本 -不是我们的 - Japan? - It is not ours.
-中国 -不是我们 - China? - It is not us.
当然也不是我们的 It's bloody well not ours.
-我承认 -朝鲜 你承认什么 - I confess. - Yes, North Korea? Confess to what?
飞船是我们的 The spaceships are ours.
我们爱戴的领袖亲自设计建造 Our beloved leader designed and built them himself.
-好笑吗 -好吧 朝鲜 请坐 - What's so funny? - All right, North Korea. Sit down.
-我就知道是你 印度 -不 这是和平的标志 - So, it was you India, I knew that... - No, no this is a sign of peace
和平的标志 That is the sign of peace.
都闭嘴 蠢货 Just cut it out, you morons!
那是纳粹 真正的纳粹 These thugs are Nazis. And I mean the real, McCoy.
他们潜藏月球已久 等待时机发动攻击 They have been hiding on the moon just waiting to pounce.
我的问题说是 你们打算怎么办 My question is, what are you all planning to do about it?
因为我们恰好有所准备 'Cause we just happen to have a little something on our own sleeve.
你们肯定会感激的 And I'm sure that you'll be thankful for it.
请允许我来展示下一代探索飞船 乔治布什号 May I present you tomorrows exploration ship - The USS George W Bush.
做得好 拿去给泰勒长官 Good work, take it to Officer Tyler.
这是轨道 轨道窗口运行情况如何 This is trajectory, what's our status on the orbit window?
指挥官驾到 Commander on deck.
敌方舰队对美军展开全力进攻 The hostile fleet has launched a full scale aerial attack against the US.
齐柏林硬式飞艇似乎是做航母 These Zeppelins appear to be carriers
在热大气层内运行 and they are operating fully within the thermosphere.
每艘航母大约搭载200舰队 而且极其... Each of them approximately carrying 200 enemy vessel and are extremely...
下地狱吧 阿德勒先生 Hell have no fury, Mr. Adler.
好吧 孩子们 好戏开始了 Alright kiddies, let's get this show on the road.
微微安 看上去不错啊 那边怎么样 Vivian, you look great. How is it going up there?
总统大人 好极了 Madam President, I couldn't be better.
我已装载了数百万吨核弹头 I am packing dozen of megatons of nuclear warheads.
准备塞在克劳斯的屁眼里 which I am going to carefully place on Klaus's proud ass.
-只要他一出现 -使劲点 - As soon I get him on my sight. - Carry on, kick butt.
让我们看场好戏 Let's see what that baby can do!
最佳装载量运行 弹药消耗正常 Working at optimum capacity. Ammunition consumption within tolerance.
遭遇重火力袭击 急需增援 We going under extremely heavy fire. We need reinforcements right now.
搞什么 What the hell is the meaning of this?
澳大利亚飞船安杜兰1号准备投入战斗 Good day mate, this Australian ship, the Indurain 1. Ready to kick ass.
"喷火" 报告情况 Spitfire reporting in.
坚持住 W型"加拿大"加入战斗 Hanging there W Canada joining the battle
这是对国际空间战条约的公然违背 This is a direct violation of this nations space treaty that
该条约你们都有签字的 you all signed, every single one of you.
"和平号"准备加入战斗 MIR is ready to join the battle
这本该被摧毁 That was supposed to be destroyed
这简直是暴行 你们这群骗子和我前夫一样 This is an outrage, you're all liars just like my ex-husband.
-冷静 女士 -别叫我女士 讨厌鬼 - Come down lady, come down. - Don't you lady me, pickle.
好了 谁没有武装飞船的 Okay who didn't armed their spaceship?
很好 很好 Great, great. That's just great.
-你们都跟我保证过的 -你也会食言啊 - You all gave me your word. - You always broke yours.
我们是常食言 就是这样 We always break ours, this is what we do.
好吧 好吧 Okay, fine, fine, fine.
先收拾了这群混蛋再谈细节 Let just beat shit out of these pricks and talk about the details later.
第一舰队的英雄们
请继续战斗 直到最后一人
请记住 你们是为德意志而战
见鬼 他们是从哪冒出来的
为元首准备一套制服
祖国在召唤他的孩子
这个装置是迄今为止最大的战争机器的关键
-"诸神的黄昏"就要起航了 -阿德勒万岁
漂亮 This is beautiful.
-我们去哪里 -"诸神的黄昏" - Where the hell are we going? - To the Gotterdammerung.
克劳斯应该在那 I think Klaus will be there.
你觉得怎么样 What did you think of that?
好了 该去处理一些月球上的事务了 Alright, what about this moon business?
我们来个大闹天宫怎么样 What you say we head on over and slap around a bit.
克劳斯 我来找你了 Klaus, baby I'm coming to get you.
注意
阿德勒万岁
万岁
回归原位
怎么
地球舰队20分钟内进入射程
-你的军队准备好了吗 -翘首以待里克特博士
-这是什么鬼地方 -这就是"诸神的黄昏" - What the hell is this place? - This is the Gotterdammerung.
它来解放地球 It will liberate the earth.
事实上 Actually.
这是有史以来最大的战争机器 It is the biggest war machine ever built.
这就是舰桥 我要去那里 This is the bridge. There's where I'm going.
我要找到你父亲 I need to find your father.
-你觉得他在哪 -我想在那里能找到他 - Where do you think he at? - I think you will find him over there.
悄悄进去 关闭引擎 Try to sneak in, and please paralyze the engines.
不然地球就毁了 Or otherwise the earth is destroyed.
记住 关闭引擎 Note to self, paralyze the engines.
别 你要小心 No. You be careful.
-我是说你知道...-什么 - I mean you know... - What?
-因为你喜欢我啊 -你想多了... - Because you like me. - Right...
别这样 多多少少吧 Oh, come on, a little.
你喜欢我哦 You like me....
长官 我们可以看到纳粹的堡垒了 We have a visual on the Nazi fortress, commander.
显然我低估了克劳斯 Obviously I'm overestimated Klaus.
好吧 准备核武器 Alright, everyone, let get those nukes in action.
我宣布这块堡垒属于自由开火区 I'm declaring this fortress a free-fire-zone.
可是里面还有妇女和儿童 But there are woman and children there.
美国政府是不会向恐怖分子妥协的 The United States of America does not negotiate with terrorists.
-弹头装入次级装备 -收到 - Prime warhead on secondary armament. - Roger that.
-准备好所有可用弹头 -快发射 - Prepare all available warheads on ground... - Fire the fucking nukes!
核弹发射 Nukes away.
做得好 Job well done.
让开
谁敢来吵我
里克特博士
-你还要多久 -"诸神的黄昏"要起航了
准备好迎接最后的胜利
废话少说 还要多久
多多少少还得3个月
给你3分钟
居然挂我电话 没那么简单 罗马不是一天建成的
冒牌医生 Hey, quack!
还记得我吗 Do you remember me?
你把我漂成了雪花呢 The moon spook you turn into a snowflake.
开启氦-3引擎
马上
开启引擎
见鬼 启动了 Oh shit, it's alive.
他的老二一定是全宇宙中最小的 He must have the smallest dick in the universe.
装载大炮
是时候 Time
回击了 to fuck back.
各就各位 包围这个大家伙 Everyone, take positions around these fat fellas
听我命令开火 and wait for my command to open fire.
-地面攻击准备完毕 -开火 - Offensive ground confirmed. - Let her rip.
操
-大炮准备好了吗 -准备好了
但是地球是在地平线以下 月球另一边的
我们够不到
满月已是昨日黄花 我们来建立新的地平线
开炮
重启系统 武器NCO
我们来看看...
"诸神的黄昏"上的武器是用金属氢制造的
它的聚集态只有在加压情况下才能实现
国歌 为鼓舞士气 打碎玻璃
影响会有所不同
现在不是唱国歌的时候
歌放错了
你们是白痴吗 还不去看看出什么事了
快滚
-雷纳特 -我不会让你得逞的
你要干嘛
向我开枪吗
好姑娘
雷纳特·里克特 我的新娘
你毁了自己的漂亮 美好
一个满是雅利安小孩的世界
我们的雅利安小孩
然而你背叛了我 现在你要付出代价
你的美丽应该来装点欧丁神的几案
-克劳斯 等等 我有话说 -现在吗
-我忙着呢 -我一直很尊敬你
无论是作为元首的你 还是作为男人的你
我甚至爱上了你
我是你的
永远是你的
好感人的告别演说
但是晚了 亲爱的 永别了
我明白 我向你致敬
我的克劳斯
胜利万岁 我的元首
-华盛顿 听得见吗 -你在哪 - Washington, do you hear me? - Where are you?
-你必须关闭引擎 -我正在这么做 - You need to shut down the engine. - I'm working on it.
恭喜你 I congratulate you.
击个掌 High five.
真遗憾 Well that was disappointing.
你觉得他受难了吗 哪怕一点点 Do you think he suffered? Even just a little?
微微安 我知道你可以的 Vivian, I knew you could do it.
非常轰动 恭喜你 Sensational, all the way. Congratulations.
-什么是氦-3 -氦 - What's Helium 3? - Helium...
你是说氦-3吗 Did you say Helium 3?
是的 大概15到20个巨塔里都是这东西 Yes, there like about 15 to 20 giant towers that appear to be full of this stuff.
-是我们的 -是吗 为什么 - That's ours. - It is? Why?
氦-3能满足美国 Helium 3, will make the U.S. independent
未来一千年的能源需要 of all energy needs for next thousand years.
是的 是我们的 Yes, it's ours.
听我说 Hear me out.
月球是美国的领土 月球的旗帜是星条旗 The moon is American soil. Moon flag, star and stripes.
谁打败了月球纳粹 是我们美国啊 Who beat the moon Nazis? We did, well...
好吧 你们都有帮忙 不过就像二战一样啊 Well, you help out here and there. But ultimately it is just like WWII ...
最后谁赢了 是我们美国啊 And who won that? We did.
-你个骗子 -不相信我吗 -You lie. - Don't believe me?
去看看电影啊 电影不会骗人的 Watch the movie. Movies don't lie.
别丢鞋子 上帝啊 Not the shoes, jesus.
微微安 这里是国防部 Vivian, this is the Secretary of Defense.
-誓死保卫氦-3 -防谁 - Defend Helium 3 at all costs. - But against who?
任何人 Against everybody!
不需要了 再也不需要了
请坐
地球长什么样
和这里不一样
我们什么时候能去那儿
快了 快了
-怎么去 -和平的方式
很遗憾这就是复仇的故事 太混乱了 Unfortunately that's the story of revenge. It's messy.
天不遂人愿 Never really works out the way you wanted to.
我感到刻骨的孤独 I feel lonely.
跟随内心 要么走向毁灭 Allowing our hearts, or we will burn ...
在地狱里燃烧 永恒的诅咒 burn in hell, burning in eternal damnation.
雷纳特 Renata.
华盛顿 Washington.
黑化剂
你还活着啊 You are alive.
没事了 It's okay.
你又回归原来的样子了 And you're in a way you meant to be.
你知道你是在亲一个黑人吗 Are you aware that you are kissing a black man?
我想他们有好多东西要适应 I guess they have a lot of work to look up worth.